You Don’t Look Like… | People with Eating Disorders | One Word | Cut
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You Don’t Look Like… | People with Eating Disorders | One Word | Cut

August 14, 2019

That’s kinda what’s so
hard about being bulimic is that no one sees it. You don’t look like you
have an eating disorder. It brings me back to the days when I came out to certain people and
told them what I was doing. To the ones who are not sympathetic, I just kind of felt like I
came out to the wrong person. That phrase is really dangerous. If you don’t look like you
have an eating disorder, it means that you don’t
have to seek treatment, and it could also make that person want to use behaviors more so they can get to that weight where they’ll look like
they have an eating disorder. Ignorance. There’s a
pretty gendered nature to it. It feels even more shameful,
but yeah, I just feel like, weak and embarrassed and shameful. Like, this is something you
should figure out on your own. Like, you don’t need to bring this up. Thank you. I like when people tell
me I’m healthy now. I used to hate it but now it’s just a sign that I can accept
myself for being healthy and I’m proud of myself. False. Ignorant. It can be a lapse in judgement and you can just not understand, but if you can’t take the
time to actually think of something like an eating disorder from that person’s point of
view, then you’re just not a good person. Maybe you’re not, like, a stick or you’re not, like, super, super tiny, and that’s what people associate
with an eating disorder, and that is definitely
not the only body type that has an eating disorder. It’s not about what
you look like, it’s about what’s in there. You never know who does or doesn’t. It’s completely invisible. It doesn’t look like anything. Uneducated. There isn’t enough awareness around eating disorders as a whole, and the kind of people
that they can affect which is anyone across any class system, age, gender, race. Secretive. You’re not
supposed to talk about it. Eating disorder is a mental illness and it’s not something that we can change. Shame lives in shadows, and unless you talk about it, it doesn’t get better, and
you can hide all you want, but the only person you’re
hurting is yourself.

Only registered users can comment.

  1. i have an eating disorder, and i am finally recovering. i was a mix between anorexia and bulimia. i would starve myself for weeks, but then i would get upset and binge & purge. recovery was the best thing that's ever happened to me

  2. this is exactly why the west is effed up…just saying my opinion. I mean a child starving in South Sudan and Venezuela would think..I mean what would they think of this?

  3. i tols my parents about mine and im pretty sure they thought i was iver reacting…. yet here i am feeling sick to my atomach when all i ate was half a bowl of cereal and a smore yep thanks for being the best dad😒

  4. This made me cry.. I was never taken seriously- not even now by certain people in my own close family. Just because you don't LOOK like you are starving or throwing up, does not mean you don't. The disorder is psychological, not a size. It hurts because you do not get help until you look dead, so for years I wanted to starve even more so I got to a point where I could get help.

  5. stop trying to get attention from other people. you don't need them to notice. sorry excuse for a "disorder"

  6. when people tell me i don't look like i have anoerxia, it makes me want to starve myself even more because to "look anorexic" means to look skeleton-thin, extremely skinny, skin and bone.

  7. Thank you for this <3 I always felt this but I tot I was alone. And finally now I can walk out of the dark and empty room that is in my head. :')

  8. It's hard that people mistake the physical symptom of weight loss/gain as the mental disorder itself. Yeah, I am not tiny anymore in this point in recovery, but I am struggling to hold the pieces together to keep on walking through recovery. When people assume that you're fully recovered, I understand the mistake, but it pains me deeply.

  9. ok Eating disorders are a conspiracy by the government to kill most of us before we can collect on our social security. Many trainloads of sugar beets are in route to processing corps for that junk food store near you and pizza, and your choice for healthier food are disappearing. That is a plan by the world bank push us all into diabetes which cut our life span and makes those corporate doctors and hospitals very rich.

  10. I have so much pride in each of hear individuals! The beautiful women at 0:55, I am so proud of you that you're at the point where you are able to say that. I've taken it upon myself to help spread awareness and education on eating disorders and mental health. Follow my twitter @katekeast 🙂 have a great day

  11. My dad saw this girl when we went on vacation. he said, "I saw this girl in the hall, she looked almost anorexic…" It took all my willpower to keep from cringing. EDS DON'T HAVE BODY TYPES

  12. my "friend" had said this to me and it hurt so very bad and she had no idea she did anything wrong. yes im not a stick but i struggle everyday with anorexia, it doesnt matter what you look like to be anorexic, its your internal thinking proccess.

  13. An eating disorder isn't poetic and romantic unless you're skin and bones, right? Uncontrollably cramming food in your mouth and being hunched over a toilet bowl isn't glamorous, isn't it? That's why this phrase is so damaging. Nobody can see my pain. The years I toiled and cried over a plate of food, the hospitalizations from developing stomach ulcers and burning holes through my stomach lining, the countless times I tried and failed at recovery… Nobody cares, because I'm not skin and bones, because I don't look like I'm suffering.

  14. I've never been diagnosed, but i still can't make myslef not to weigh everyday, not to feel guilty about every single thing i eat

  15. I have been told this by numerous medical professionals in the week preceding my forceful admission into treatment where I was taken around in a wheelchair because I was at risk of my heart giving out.

  16. When you're in hospital and under an ITO and a doctor says you look like you eat a healthy diet and that you don't look like you have one, like thanks for saying that to me but have you read my file?

  17. When i was young i was a little overweight and got bullied from kids at school and even from my own mother. When i was at high school i became anorexic and people always told me i look sick and like a corpse and its disgusting and people told me they were scared to touch me bc they would feel only my bones and my mother said nobody would never marry me bc no one wants to marry a skeletone.

    No matter what i did, it was never enough.

  18. I've had an eating disorder since I was 9..started buy stealing food..getting in trouble for ended up binge eating in secret, witch led to weight gain..anorexia and starving myself..rn I'm starving's a never ending cycle unless you get help. I wouldn't wish having an eating disorder on my worst enemy. The more light shed on it the better!! Xx brilliant video

  19. I've been struggling with an eating disorder (anorexia, binge eating, and bulimia) for the past 5 years. I think that I may finally be healing. I may finally be starting to heal my mind. I recently realized how screwed up my brain is. I see progress pictures of myself from when I was eating 1000 calories a day and running 6 miles every day and want that body back. Why do I want that body back?
    This past week has finally been my realization of how bad my body dysmorphia is and not just my perception of myself but of others around me. I am so critical. I am struggling acceptance. I remember seeing my body back then and thinking that I needed to lose weight. I don't remember a time where I didn't think I needed to lose weight. and now up 30 pounds I still have similar thoughts.

  20. I told my cousin about having struggled with anorexia, while I was beginning to have problems with it again. And the first thing she told me was "you weren't skinny enough to have anorexia".

  21. This is all too relatable, I have an eating disorder but I’m to scared to come out about, what if they don’t see it’s there?

  22. When I was at my worst in my eating disorder (fasting, over exercising, feeling disgusting if I ate 1000 calories) people told me how healthy, lean and beautiful I was. When I was trying to fight it, eat more and exercise less I gained some weight, no one said anything but the compliments went away. Then I relapsed, binging now. Binging every day for weeks and months on end. My mum, dad and family commenting on how thick my thighs were and how I’d put on weight. Then I started eating healthy, I was 7kg heavier but I was exercising and eating healthier, I mostly didn’t count calories, the obsessive thoughts were still there but I resisted. For a little while. Then I was back to 900 calories a day, fasting 1, 2, 3 days a week, more rules, no eating after 6pm, 5pm, 4pm, rules, rules, rules, pushing my first meal until 10:30am, 1:30pm or 3:30pm, no wheat, sugar, white rice, oil, salt, rules, rules, 75% of plate veggies + 25% protein, exercise more, walk more, dance more, wake up at 3am to start exercising. I lost a few kilograms but then my mum broke it off with her boyfriend and we had to move. I fell into depression. I binge eat almost every day, sometimes twice a day for weeks turning into months. Spending all day in bed only moving to get more food. My mum getting angry at me because I’d eaten a weeks worth of shopping in 2-3 days. I’m still depressed, I’m binging less but still emotionally over eating every day, and I’m still sedentary. I’ve gained 5kg more than I weighed before restricting but at least I’m maintaining now. It’s so hard to get out of this rut. I’m never going to wake up one day and be cured of this mental disease. But I can hopefully try to make small steps in the right direction to better health and happiness.

  23. The first person I told was an old friend and I told her that I thought I had an eating disorder and she looked at me and she said that I was “to fat to have an eating disorder” that night I went home and that’s where my self harm started. She still doesn’t know that she is the reason that made me start harming myself. I’m still not clean.

  24. Aunt: You should really reduce your eating, you've gotten really fat.

    Me: hasn't eaten in three days I know, I will.

    That's what this video made me think of.

  25. it takes some people longer than others to realize that eating disorders are just as serious and debilitating as any other physical illness. it can happen to anyone, but its important to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. WHAT YOU FEEL IS OKAY. IT IS NOT PERMANENT. i used to always feel like i was so different or fucked up for feeling the way i did for so many years, but then i realized that i am not alone in this disorder. that fact on its own has helped me through so much, i hope this offers help to others feeling alone in this mental illness. xo

  26. you don’t look like you had an eating disorder = you’re not skinny enough. you‘ve reached absolutely nothing.!

  27. I wish more poc were able to be on this video. There’s tons of us out here who struggle. It would be nice to continue to change the face of EDs in that way.

  28. Know somewho got an eating disorder, gotten the message she dont have any help. Worried about it, what to do? Gotten the messsge from multiple people not to comment on it and havent done it, just wondering what to do?

  29. Im a really joking person in real life when im with friends. But everytime they try to joke about my weight, i just… Sarcastically laugh and they think im liking their joke, but… No. Theyre right. Im fat and bulimic (i guess). I still dont have any fucking result and im starting to hate myself every single day. Ive been doing this for 2 months everyday. NO PROGRESS. Ugh.. I want to fucking diee

  30. I never had a clinical ED, but I can understand kind of. My father figure died, and I was not able to express how I felt about that because I was worried about making my mom more upset. As a result I got depressed, and I lost a ton of weight. I was so tiny that even the smallest sizes were big on me. I've been having a rough go of it recently, but for the most part I do pretty well. Don't be ashamed. There are people who understand.

  31. It's the same thing with self harm, people are like: "But you wouldn't do something like that, you seem so happy all the time."

  32. I had an eating disorder and I didn't look it. I looked really healthy but people couldn't see that I was torn up inside. People paid attention to me because I was thin and pretty. When I started gaining weight back it stopped. I became invisible. My personality, which people found so great before, wasn't enough for people to have interest in me. All because I gained weight. I never got really fat, only slightly overweight, but even as I'm trying to get healthy it's hard not to fall back on old habits. People treat thin girls better, even if that thinness is unhealthy… it's messed up.

  33. If a doctor tells you your not at a dangerous weight so your not “bulimic/anorexic” is really heart wrenching ( I’ve had a friend who was overweight and anorexic) and the doctor old her that she wasn’t so eventually she got really sick and passed out during gym and was token to the hospital

  34. I'm lucky that nobody ever have told me that you dont look like you have an eating disorder, The only who had said it to me is me. Or well, it was almost clearly for my friends and class that i had an eating disorder, befor I realesed it.

    but i've never been anorexic small, I ve lost some kg, to gain it again, and gain mor. but my friends get worried about me two years ago, at the autum they started to be realy consurned and tried to help me. I searchhelp at the spring but then I backed off because I couldn't leav my eating disorder, i haven't been enough small yet to have an eating disorder(for me)

    at the autum 1/2 a year ago now, my class also started to worry, everyone almost, boys, girls, talked to my friends and was wondering if I had stopped eating again, if my eating disorder was back and they walked to teacher and tried to make me understand. But i pretended i was better and tried to take my life but didn't success..

    but my class is now quite knowing about eating disorder, and that you dont have to bee anoerexic smal to have an eating disorder. 9 /11 girls in my class(inkl me, and 3 of my closest freidns) has have/are having an eating disorder… i don't understand why just… because not so many are having an eating disorder in the another classes. maby 1-2.

  35. My family thought it was all fun and games in the beggining (my eating disorder), 6 months later, they TRULY saw that this wasn't a joke..

  36. Once had a doctor tell me to stop eating cheeseburgers. I was actually eating between 400 to 900 calories a day and weighing myself obsessively when this comment was made.

  37. Funny. I just remembered how I had this discussion with a friend 5 years ago where I said that if you were overweight and didn't eat, you didn't have an eating disorder. Couple of years down the line I developed anorexia and now I fully understand what I didn't back then. People need to be more educated on mental illnesses, that's what creates ignorance, that's what feeds into misconceptions

  38. My family told me i looked healthy. They said i carried my weight well! I got compliments on my "fit" figure. They didnt know i was eating 300 calories a day, or fasting for days at a time. They didnt know i woke up at 4 am to go on runs so they couldnt see me leave. They didnt know i was throwing up half my dinner and collapsing from low blood sugar in my room. This went on until my mom noticed. And even then….many people never even had a clue. Eating disorders hide behind clever masks and weave intricate webs of lies and cover ups. By the time someone looks like they have an eating disorder, they're in dire straits. They've endured so much agony and so much shame and guilt. Anyone can get an eating disorder, but only few will ever "look" the "part". Remember that you are all beautiful no matter what. I promise thats the truth ❤

  39. I talked about my eating disorder with one of my friends. But in the end, I just regret it daily. He tells my other friends "I know something about her you guys don't" and didn't even once heard me off. I feel like he teases me and brings all the pain back again and again.

    What I want to say is: Be careful who you are telling about your eating disorder. I still hope for someone in my life, who maybe had similar experiences so that we can trust each other and hear each other out.

  40. My mother completely ignores my Eating Disorder until I start becoming underweight again. If I look healthy, she doesn't say a word. Once I'm losing weight, that's when it matters, and unfortunately that's how a lot of people are going to react. I can tell them I was just as bad before at a normal weight, but all they're going to respond with is that same bullshit: "You didn't look like you had an Eating Disorder." I've always been physically healthy before this, but mentally ill. I understand constantly being disregarded because I don't "look" sick, so it pisses me off even more when the only time someone wants to acknowledge that I'm struggling is when THEY can see it.

  41. I was 80 pounds once as a teenager, now as an overweight adult i still go 5 days without eating sometimes, my fam doctor does recognize it as an eating disorder, but to others i dont "look like i have an eating disorder", it can happen to anyone no one starts out that thin

  42. I got told that by a therapist. I started doing more behaviours because of this statement. Sigh I hate it. I had a social worker that confronted me about my eating disorder and I had to come clean. They knew and the drastic weight loss is what clinched it. Worst phrase in the world to say.

  43. It makes me remember the times then I weighted 34,5 kilos and decided to STOP. And people around me were like "don't loose more, but don't put on weight" or "put on just a kilo or two". Bitch a have a choice between dying and putting on more weight than I had in the beginning, and I'm choosing to not listen to you

    Anorexia is the illness of the MIND before it is of the body. That's what people need to understand

  44. I honestly sometimes try to eat… I may try and chew on something… But i cannot swallow it.
    If i do force myself to swallow, i then become sick in the stomach and force myself to throw up.
    I then just lay in bed.
    At times i feel weak or see black and white.
    I also had a seizure twice last year.

    Days seems like its passin by so slowly.
    Forgetting that i even need food to survive.
    My stomach never growls.

    The more someone pushes me to eat.. The more i lose interest in food.
    Angry is what ill start feeling.
    More sad. More annoyed. The more ill isolate myself.

  45. I just came from another video where she talked about being the "fat anorexic" and the comment section was cruel. They kept telling her that she was never anorexic because she was never extremely underweight and that she was only looking for attention. It's like they ignored the whole video. She starved herself from morbidly obese down to a normal BMI. She had all of the same symptoms and met all of the criteria for anorexia minus the low weight. She would have reached that point had she not decided to recover. Therefore, according to the comment section, her entire experience wasn't valid. She talked about how she chose to do recovery on her own and it backfired and she ended up trading anorexia for BED. That's very similar to my experience so reading the comment section almost felt like an attack on me too even though it had nothing to do with me.

  46. "You're to fat to have an eating disorder." Thanks mom, thanks sisters, thanks brothers, thanks friends, thanks strangers, thanks everyone who don't know what I'm doing to myself. Thank you. Thank you for not caring about me.

  47. a few days ago I told my best friend I had an eating disorder and she said I don't because I don't look like a stick and she told me it's all my fault for trying to make myself throw up

  48. I came it to my friend about anorexia and she said this is a diet not a eating disorder I showed her my ed journal that had my two hour workouts and zero calorie fasting days

    I’m recovered now

    mom always wants me and my siblings to be fat even through she doesn't like fat people and I don't want to be fat I started starving my self I didn't know why them I look up signs you have depression and found out I do have depression so it loses my hunger and I know i have a little bit of ana so im a mix of kinda the worst things
    WHY: because of my fake friend whom i cant leave because she is my deskmate

  50. I need counseling , or may be someone's experience and help

    I am facing this issue from past 9-11 years approx
    When I was in my teen age and now even , it took lot of courage to accept this that it is coming again in me nearly the same as those days of past
    Stomach got filled but mind is struggling to understand even now

    Stomach hurts , most importantly whole physical appearance which i worked for , has to gone in this in 1 week , 1 week is sufficient to loose all shape of Body

    My watsapp number
    Please message me Someone's
    Or anyone , need help .


    Day will come we can
    I will laugh on this disorder called so thing and I will say that was childishness nor disorder.

    Please reply
    Need help and want to share something🙏


  51. I've been telling my brother and mom that I'm having trouble eating and eating comfortably, they don't take me seriously, I've cried right in front of them about it, my brother just told me to start appreciating and eat and get over it, I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO EAT, I JUST CAN'T

  52. 0:42 Yeah.. And when people say this phrase, it hurts me. Like, it makes you not want to try or you begin to think "you arent that bad" or "you dont matter."

  53. I find that phrase equally stupid as I do comforting. Prior to my anorexia becoming noticable, if someone said that I didn't look like I have an eating disorder I'd be angry with myself that I was "thin enough" to look sick. Now I'm on the heavier side after developing a binge eating disorder. Now if I told someone I had a binge problem I'd be comforted if they said I didn't look like I had it. It's important to realize that people with EDs including myself are susceptible to really taking these small stupid comments very serious because they are. Don't wave alcohol in a recovering alcoholics face. Don't comment on weight to a person with an ED.

  54. When I first got into Anorexia I was 13, 5’7 and 160lbs, I was sick for 4 years but continued to gain weight. I came out about it when I was 17, 5’11 and 188lbs. No one new I was sick because “I don’t look Anorexic”. I hid that for 4 years and no one knew. I really wish people would understand that an ED is not a body type

  55. I barely eat enough to stay alive since I was 11, I'm 22 now and dealing with adulthood I only eat when I feel tummy acke or dizzy.

  56. I have an eating disorder and I eat only half bag of chips for the HOLE day and when people tell me “you don’t look like u have an eating disorder” I don’t wanna eat that half chips anymore.

  57. The eating disorder voice in my mind is mean and harsh and cruel. It’s telling me that I’m too fat to have an eating disorder, so I have to keep starving myself. People are trying to help me but I just don’t want to get better.

  58. I personally don’t have an eating disorder but people are always like “you’re so skinny!!!” Like
    1. honey, i know.
    2. its not always a compliment so just say something like “i like your shirt” or something , because you never know what someone is going through.
    Stay strong bb’s

  59. As a person who has and eating disorder I used to think the same thing I am so glad that I changed that mental state

  60. at my worse point i lost a lot of weight in a small amount of time so i really wanted help and i told my mother and she responded with "i think i would notice if you lost that much weight in a month" yeah mom youd think…

  61. I have anorexia and I'm medically considered overweight. It's so hard as an larger person with an ED because I'm praised for losing weight, regardless of how. It triggers me to use behaviors even more.

  62. I’m in treatment for anorexia rn (my parents forced me), and I can’t even tell my friends that anorexia is the reason I’m never at school because I look healthy

    I also have this friend that is also anorexic, and she was very skinny, so I’m scared my friends wouldn’t believe me because I don’t look like her

  63. Check out this inspirational recovery story, of a woman who had severe Anorexia here –

  64. I’m not skinny and I’m not extremely fat but I’m a bit overweight and I tryed purging but I found that starving did it for me and no one notices because I don’t lose weight I just stay the same

  65. You’re healthy not skinny.
    You’re eating so you can’t have an eating disorder
    See? You were never really sick, you just want attention
    You aren’t fat and you aren’t anorexic
    Stop being dramatic
    It’s only a phase
    Being a teenager and going through puberty is hard
    It’ll wear off

  66. My doctors caught my eating disorder early. If they wouldn’t have, I would have been dead. I’m so grateful. ❤️ Please seek help if you are struggling, it’s worth it.

  67. I have tried to get help a lot in the past for my eating disorder…
    I went to UC and they turned me down sending me home the next day…
    They said I was faking and I was just not used to living on my own. I was scared.
    The scared part was the only thing they got right. I gave up and am still having these issues with eating. I eat laxatives as meals even if I haven't eaten. I'm starting to be weak all the time… Dizzy even. But maybe I really don't need help yet… Maybe in another life…

  68. When I was at my lowest weight, my Mum, after growing up with her frequently bringing up how she used to be “almost anorexic” used to compliment me constantly and telling me how nobody would look at her because I looked so good, meanwhile I was eating nothing for days, weeks, etc. and I know it’s her problem she’s had herself but it hurt. That hardly anyone took me seriously enough. One person in my group of friends bitched to the other friends about how I was lying about having anorexia because I was eating in front of them (in recovery because I had to)..

    it’s such a fucking horrible experience like you feel both triggered that you’re not thin enough for people to worry enough about you so it makes you work harder so they start to give a shit and you also feel like absolute rubbish because you haven’t eaten for days and have lost all this weight, energy, everything to be made to feel that you can’t even starve yourself well enough to have people worry about you.

  69. I was once called by some fat kid in high school "move out of the way you anorexic" I looked and laughed, because to me that was a compliment.

  70. Ok, first off I just wanna say that I do not have a diagnosed eating disorder, I should probably go to the doctor to see if I do, but for rn I am not comfortable to know if I do or don’t. K, now that that’s aside. One time I decided to try to get better with my eating, I was noticing that I wasn’t eating at all or eating very little everyday and when I looked at my body I just kinda got scared so, I tried to gain weight. And I had been weighing myself everyday. And even tho I was eating quite a lot, I still lost 2 pounds a day for a few days. So I said to my one friend that “I’m mad at m6 body rn, I’ve lost 2 pounds everyday for a little while now” and she responded with “omg you can’t complain about being skinny and being able to loose weight.” And that just rly hurt me, and made me realize that if it were to be that I did have a eating disorder, that she would not support me.

  71. My mother told me I'm fat. I didn't get it at first. She probably didn't mean it in a rude way, but when she told me I still have belly fat it really hurt. Little did she know, I haven't eaten well for the last week.

  72. I was bulimic for about 1,5 years and then recovering for about 2years. Hearing that sentence while your bulimic time or even in recovery or after, hurts so incredibly much and it is also really dangerous!! Even 5years later when I hear: Oh but you dont look like that at all. It still hurts me deeply, it is not about what I look like it is about how I felt and how I struggle with myself and anything like that will not turn it to the better

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