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Why Didn’t This Happen More on “The Wire”? – Key & Peele

September 9, 2019


– YOU READY, HOMIE?
– HELLS YEAH. – LET’S TAKE
THESE [bleep]ERS OUT. – HOLD UP. NAH… – WHAT? – WE GOTTA
GO BACK HOME, MAN. – WHY? – I POOPED MY PANTS. – WHAT?
– JUST NOW. I JUST POOPED MY PANTS. – YOU–YOU GOT DIARRHEA? – HELL NO, MAN,
I AIN’T GAY. WE GOTTA GO HOME RIGHT NOW,
MAN, LET ME CHANGE MY DRAWERS. – MAN, THE DUDES WE TRYING
TO SMOKE IS RIGHT THERE. – MAN, HOW YOU WANT ME
TO SMOKE SOMEBODY WHEN I GOT POOP
IN MY PANTS? – ARE YOU SURE
YOU POOPED ‘EM? – AM I SURE? [bleep], AM I SURE?
– YEAH. – YES. THAT IS POOP IN MY PANTS. – THAT’S NASTY, MAN.
– IT’S NATURAL, MAN. – FOR A THREE YEAR OLD.
NOT FOR A HARDCORE GANGSTA. – SEE, IF YOU WERE
MY REAL FRIEND, THOUGH, YOU WOULDN’T MAKE
SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. – WOULDN’T MAKE
SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT? [bleep], YOU A GROWN-ASS MAN
WHO JUST [bleep] IN HIS DRAWERS. – OH, SNAP. – NO, YOU DIDN’T. [bleep], YOU JUST [bleep]
YOUR PANTS AGAIN. – DON’T JUDGE. – YOU NEED TO GET OUTTA MY CAR
AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL. – OKAY, I SEE HOW IT IS. SEE, I WOULDN’T DO THAT
TO YOU, THOUGH. – [bleep], YOU NEVER WOULD
HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME, BECAUSE UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
WOULD I EVER [bleep] MY PANTS. [cocks gun] UH–[gasps] I’M SORRY I JUDGED YOU. – APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

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