Recovery | People with Eating Disorders | One Word | Cut
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Recovery | People with Eating Disorders | One Word | Cut

August 17, 2019

Over these last two years, I’ve tried to stop starving myself and making myself throw up, but I can’t. I work on it every day, but I’m so used to it that it just
doesn’t even faze me. If you were to ask a
good number of people who have dealt with addiction in any area in their life, they would
say recovery is a lifelong process that you’re in. I hope that’s not true. I know that I will be
recovered at some point, but I think it takes a
lot of work to get there. Beause it isn’t like one day
everything clicks into place. Things click and then things fall apart. It’s a roller coaster. A lot of ups, a lot of downs, but in the end I know it’ll be worth it. It’s the best decision I ever made. It’s so worth it, it’s so worth
it, every day is worth it. Happiness. Eating the food you want, not losing your hair, being able to do physical activity
without fainting. Do we ever fully recover? I don’t know that. Fake. I honestly don’t think that you can ever fully recover. I think a full recovery
is almost impossible because you’re always gonna have some sort of whatever you had in the past in your body still or in your mind. Awesome. It’s hard, it’s super hard,
it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole
life, but it’s worth it. Recovery has given me
so much of my life back. A rescue. Without recovery, there
almost is no life for you. Is so possible. It really is. It’s so possible. Endless. Recovery is endless.

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  1. You have the ability to eat, everyday… Think about it. Now, do we feel a little first world problem whiny? Yes we do don`t we?

  2. recovery is posible, it will take time but it will be worth it, you will learn to love yourself little by little and it will be the most beautiful thing.

  3. Meh, I ended up starving myself till I couldn't even walk properly. Fixed myself with proper rest and loads of calories from nuts & dark chocolate on top of regular meals, and now I'm almost healthy already. Psychotherapy didn't help shit, but I went there to twiddle my thumbs just to prove that I'm 'trying'.

  4. i cried watching this. i've been an avid fan of this one word series but i had to put off watching any of the eating disorder ones, yet i still had to watch this. recovery is something that no words can explain. to read the comments of those who don't understand just pains me even more. i wonder if i will ever fully recover too. although i can go to the doctors and be weighed and recorded as healthy, the mental battle is still there every day. recovery is harder than anything i've ever done, and i don't think anything else will meet the difficulty i faced. to everyone who suffers, has suffered or may suffer – never give up on yourself. keep fighting and stay strong, you will heal in time.

  5. Recovery is not forced. You have to be able to see the possibilities in recovery, or else you won't be able to fully commit to recovery.

  6. I hate when people say recovery is not possible. I have never had an eating disorder but I have always been around addiction, which is also a disease that can be like an eating disorder. People can't help it, and they can't stop. But to say recovery is fake is just not fair. Not to yourself, to your loved ones, or to others fighting this disease. Recovery is a LIFETIME PROCESS, but it is possible.

  7. Recovery is subjective.
    I made a full recovery from my eating disorder because it was caught early, I had a great team behind me, and I was able to dedicate myself to recovery in a way many people can't (example: single parents who work multiple jobs). Cognitive behavioural therapy saved me.

    My step-mom, on the other hand, who has been dealing with almost every manifestation of eating disorder known to psychology for the last 35 YEARS, cannot make a "full recovery" the way I did. Her brain chemistry has been changed, her life since childhood has been shaped around her disorder. She can make strides towards healthier living, both mentally and physically, but for her, recovery is an uphill battle that will go on for the rest of her life.

  8. Although I think it is totally valid that some people think recovery is not possible it is still so sad and truly heartbreaking. You have to be able to see the possibility in recovery to be able to fully commit to it. It is incredibly difficult to do that after thinking one way for so long. Of course there will be good days and bad days but it CAN happen.

  9. I feel for both sides of recovery, its not necessarily that recovery is impossible, but recovery can help make you into the person you want to be. Without the journey of recovery, who knows what choices you would have made.

  10. Slow, hard but possible and totally worth it. 🙂
    It can hit you from time to time but trust me, you learn to differentiate between you and the illness. 🙂

  11. I still have my dark thoughts but at this point I no longer act on them. I fuel my body and grow stronger every day no matter what my demons tell me. I think about it less and less. I know one day I'll be fully recovered.

  12. Impossible. For me. It's impossible. I was anorexic, bulimic, now I'm addicted to food, + 60 lbs in less than 1,5 years… Nobody cares, nobody helps, so…
    Is here someone who has done it alone without pills, hospitals and stuff?

  13. I went through five different treatments for binge eating disorder over a year or so and I have finally found something that helps me to manage it. The temptations to binge still come, but I can handle it better now. The trick is just finding something that works for you and that can be a lengthy process. Maybe one day it will completely go away, but I don't know. There is possibility for relapse, like with any mental health issue. I just wanted to let you guys know – don't loose hope. Keep trying different treatment approaches with your therapist.

  14. Does this mean there will be One Word release of other mental illness driven episodes (e.g. GAD, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, schizophrenia) in the future?

  15. I just finished watching all of the videos in this playlist and I love them so much. I almost cried watching a couple of them but I was wondering if y'all could do more and if y'all are I have two suggestions that I think would be interesting. Stigmas against lesbians and stigmas against mental disorders, hence the reason I'm commenting on this particular video. I would love to see these and I look forward to future videos.

  16. Ironically I think getting a gym membership has helped me a lot. I have to keep my calories up or else I will not be able to work out. Food is not the enemy. It's just fuel for your body

  17. I still don't know that much about eating disorders and just by watching this video I can tell you that it will get better. If it in fact is a mental condition like anxiety and depression then it will get better. In time. You just have to keep the faith. It's not just a click and then you're fixed. It's a roller coaster. But it exists. Think of a world where it didn't. Nothing would be worth it.

  18. I need to believe it. I'm eating again…every meal is still a struggle. I'm still so unhappy with my body that eating feels so wrong but…I'm making the choices I need to make.

  19. Just seeing the looks on their faces makes me tear up. Recovery is such a powerful word – it's pain and happiness at the same time, it's what I desperatels want but also fear. I don't know how to feel about it and I think this video captured that perfectly.

  20. I've been dealing with Anorexia binge/purge type for about 5 years now
    Recovery is almost impossible to start without support both professional and family/friend. I gotta say being the only guy in the hospital being treated for starvation was almost embarrassing yenno I gotta be frank and I felt competitive to other patients. Recovery and I are on no longer speaking terms

  21. I was lucky enough not to spiral out of control. I started practicing yoga in order to lose weight and actually it helped me recover instead. there are times I want to relapse still and it's been like 5 years post e.d so I'm gonna say no it never fully goes away but the voices get quieter.

  22. Did you know there a people with eating disorders that they can't help, can't get help, and can't escape even if they try?

    It's called being in poverty and starving. They don't have an option to have an eating disorder or not. Count your blessings.

  23. Both my cousins are boulimic i really want them to recover but it so difficult . They are both really beautiful i wished they could see themselves through my eyes. Now they just looked tired and fragile. The thing is am really skinny and they keep saying how nice my is figure and it just make me feel bad and guilty. I dont know what their parents are waiting for, they should bring them for treatment . The thing that really hurt is how my family is reacting like they are girls bad rather than sick.

  24. I really want to recover but I'm afraid I will become fat. After always fasting and restricting my food after a binge I would feel disgusting. Even after a normal small meal as well, I had to purge or exercise to feel better about my body.

  25. as a person who has suffered with an eating disorder since the age of 6, i wish the people in the video have said how it's freeing… and how it makes you able to talk to people and makes you happy and just so much better. i know that everyone is at their own stages of recovery but i wish someone could express how eating disorders is more than just the food. it's about not feeling like you, yourself is enough… feeling afraid of everything… being afraid of disappointing people… it isn't just about the food… i just really wish someone could've expressed it more than just the food or that it's never attainable…

  26. Eating disorders can span all genders, race, religion, sex, size, and shape. I know a good amount of my friends struggle with it, along with me. It's hard to deal with standard's and expectations for so many years and people think you can just switch it off. Recovery is a process. There needs to be patience, on all ends. Although I do believe it is possible to fully recover for some people, I also believe that even if you are recovered, you still have that feeling or intrusive thoughts lingering. It hurts that no one really talks about eating disorders or what can trigger things with it. People just go on with their lives and say things and don't even think how the other person would feel. That needs to change.
    I love these one word series. I can relate to so many of them and finally after watching so many- I got to this one and then bursted into tears.

  27. Recovery is something I work towards every day. It's a constant struggle. I don't think the hurt really goes away, you just get better at dealing with it.

  28. recovery : feeling worthy of taking up space. it is possible, but a daily decision. keep fighting lovely humans, you are stunning lights. thank you for sharing this video!

  29. I am sorry I am not trying to be rude
    but why is it hard to recover
    just eat food?!

  30. my eating disorder began with anorexia, when i could no longer exercise i became bulimic. i struggled like this for over a year. the last time i went on a scale it read 90lbs, and i continued to drop after that weigh in. my estimate was that i reached 80-85lbs. i was never given the opportunity to get professional help. somehow i managed to overcome my ed's and i have been sober from purging for almost 9 months. every day is a struggle and sometimes i just want to relapse so bad, but i know it's not worth it.

  31. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😢😢😢😢😢😢

  32. I've had eating disorder issues since 2008 & it's really hard. Eating feels like a chore & I always worry about my weight. I have anxiety & panic disorder which doesn't help.

  33. 1:18 a full recovery is definitely possible. I was anorexic for 4 years then bulimic . I was always overweight as a child and felt like an outcast. My weight was a roller coaster for those 6 years from age 11-17 . I got down to 72 pounds and went all the way up to 180. I'm overweight now but I don't diet or focus on what's "healthy" I eat what I crave, and found a weight I settled at and feel my best at. I've been to about 10 inpatient stays and a lot of hospital stays and missed school every year going in and out of treatment. The doctors only put you at a minimum "healthy bmi" (bmi isn't a good definition of health) and then I would eat very "healthy " and relapse shortly after. The only way you can go back to normal is if you really stop letting your restrictive eating disorder tell you what you can or should not eat. I followed minniemaud guidelines and intuitive eating and followed body positive accounts. Best decision of my life, I'm going to college and will be independent and live my life happily now without the constant struggle of an eating disorder. Only you know if you are on the right path of recovery. "Fitness " paths are just your ed telling you this is a more socially acceptable way of having that mindset. Food shouldn't be a huge part of your life or going to the gym every single day. I know this video is old but that part above bothered me…

  34. I starved myself in my first year of college. I kept working to keep me distracted and, as a broke college student, I thought I didn't deserve food. I'm about to start my third year now, and evem though I'm better, the feeling of emptiness never goes away.

  35. As sad as it is that most of these people aren't recovered I feel like it made this video more real and raw

  36. Endless and also the best decision I've ever made. I will be recovering until the day I day, and toxic thoughts will keep popping up in my mind forever, I've just started to ignore them. But definitely is worth it. Absolutely worth it.

  37. I just watched all of the one word episodes about ED's. I cried. I like to think im recovered. all my friends and family are so happy that im recovered and at a healthy weight. but even though im physically healthier i am mentally worse. my favorite pants do not fit at all. i cant bring myself to throw them away. all my extra small clothes are in a bag. i tell myself ill fit into them again but thats ridiculous. i havent binged in months. if i go back to my fear of carbs & gluten & sugar then ill fall back into a cycle of hell. but i look back on old pictures (torture) and see myself so skinny & so happy. i felt like i finally made it. i worse the tightest shirts because i loved looking at people stare at my ribs. i dont know what to do but i pretend i am happy. i know i am doing great right now but its still really blurry at times. sometimes i wanna give up and just write down my new diet plan & my rules. i miss my rules. i feel like it never ends. it slows down. it goes away for a minute. but its always there

  38. Well this is so reassuring- recovery is so long/next to impossible.
    This literally dampened my hopes. Even if it is the truth.

  39. A full recovery may be impossible but recovery to the point of where it’s not a every waking moment problem you can function in almost all settings and realise where you were and the improvement you can see. the amount relief, satisfaction and self worth you feel for yourself can never be taken away from you.

  40. In some ways, this video makes me scared because I know I'm slipping into an eating disorder and I'm scared to tell anyone because of what they might think, and I know if I do, I'll end up gaining weight

  41. Recovery is a lifelong process that is scary, difficult and demands a great deal of commitment yet it is WORTH IT!!! As a result of following this process one can achieve amazing dreams, goals, built a healthy self, healthy relationships and best of all one can truly discover their authentic selves and life purposes. Achieving all of these things may result in Happiness! Recovery is your choice!

  42. I always am exercising and watching my weight I am also a ballet dancer with very skinny girls in my class which also adds all the pressure because my body type isn’t like theirs and I look like I am bigger than them and to top it off I am in the gifted program in my school with at least 3 projects every day so I have almost no time to eat except lunch in school. I’m not 13 and I’ve already got issues with my body and it started in first grade and for a whole year once I got down to fifty something pounds in third grade. It’s not that serious but I’m afraid that I might take it too far one day

  43. Recovery is so hard, i'm crying while watching this video. To you who is reading this comment section, i wish you all the Best for 2019. After 7 years suffering of an eating disorder i can finally see the Light. Do never give up, never 🧡

  44. High functioning Autism and an eating disorder, I say this with sincere regard and consideration to those in a worse situation, but those two things are a potentially life ending combination, I went from goin to the gym 6 days a week to then 4 months down the line falling under weight by 2 stone, initially wanting to get fucking athletic build pure muscle, but reflections took over completely, ontop of tht I have an autistic high functioning thought process, just a steep negative gradient, oh btw dont go into relationships while in sn eating disorder fucking bad idea lads and girls, I found out the hard way.

  45. 0:10 "I'm just so used to it".

    You get used to normal eating too! It becomes your new normal. Just stay consistent. It took me a long long time but I recovered and this is what happened for me.

  46. I thought I'm suffering from eating disorder from last week but I was suffering from eating disorder since October 2018… without knowing it…

  47. I like the term "remission." I will always have a risk of relapse, but I'm solid enough in recovery I don't have to think about every decision. I had both nature and nurture against me, but I am breaking these cycles.

  48. How do you recover when you do not even want recovery? I see people who have gone from underweight to fat or obese, and that is what scares the crap out of me. I already have a fear of gaining a pound from food weight and can’t bear to see the scale go up. I believe I would actually kill myself if I gained more weight and became fat. I sound crazy or lunatic, but this is my reality and sole reason for going into recovery, I refuse to become fat.

  49. I tried recovering and it was the worst 1 week of my life I gained 7kg ,15pounds and then relapsed
    Edit :I'm recovering again and I feel like nothing like idk who am I atm

  50. the people who said having a full recovery is almost impossible are pretty much right. Ive been okay for 2 years but its still there, just more manageable.

  51. totally agreenwith the people saying recovery takes time and that you can be fine then well not. for me ive been in recovery for close to a year and ive had relapses and also times were i could eat what iwanted but theres still that voice in ym head saying you dont look good enough or you shouldnt eat that but we just have to try to ignore it.good luck to anyone reading this that is on the roller coaster that is recovery.

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