Diabetes and emotional wellbeing | Zena’s story | Diabetes UK
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Diabetes and emotional wellbeing | Zena’s story | Diabetes UK

September 7, 2019

Probably the biggest feeling that the
diabetes brings out in me is annoyance. It takes up too much of my time, of my brain space I’d rather be doing other things. Unless you’ve got
people in your family I suppose or a friend who’s diabetic, no one really
knows what it’s like. I don’t really feel like at the moment but I don’t want to wake up with a hypo. Always having to think about what you’re eating, what you’re doing, where you’re going; have you got food for this, have you got an emergency snack, testing my blood. The tablets or the insulin or whatever. That constant thing at the back of your mind. Sometimes you just want to press the pause button. I need to check the blood before I go to bed. I was originally diagnosed with diabetes when I was 37 weeks pregnant. Two days later had the baby. I wasn’t diabetic anymore. The second child, as soon as I had the baby the gestational diabetes went. The following January both my children and my husband all got chickenpox at the same time, and I was at work so I was trying to, you know, look after everybody and then in the
middle of all of that, my mother suddenly died. And it wasn’t long after that I was
tested again and it turned out it was Type 2 diabetes. That was a really horrible time. I didn’t realise it was so life-threatening, I didn’t realise it was
so serious, I didn’t realise how it affected pretty much every bit of your body or it could do. I suppose it was just much harder than I thought than I thought it would be. That’s like never gonna fill me up. That’s never going to fill me up. I just built up this resentment over the years of going to have my HbA1c test
results and being told that: ‘Yeah they’re still not very good.’ ‘No you still need to work on it.’ It was all very matter-of-fact. Now I’m not sure whether
I’m breathless and my heart’s going because I walked up the hill. Or I’m having a hypo. Sometimes i just want to cry in frustration because I can do exactly the same thing like I have exactly the same breakfast every day and one day
I’ll have a hypo after it and one day I won’t. I just became really emotional and
started crying when she gave me my test results because they just kept going up
and I thought, gosh when’s it ever gonna go down. She asked me if I wanted to see
the psychologist, I didn’t even know there was a psychologist and I said yeah and leapt at it because I thought you know anything to help me and I started
seeing the psychologist. One of the things that really made me
feel better I think was just hearing her say that my feelings were justified and
I wasn’t doing everything wrong. It felt like someone who understood what it was like. The emotional supports been important because it’s made me feel not
so isolated, it has made me feel that stop blaming myself as well. Some things
I can’t control and I’m still working on it. It’s still hard for me, it’s still a struggle but having a sympathetic ear
made me feel much much better

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