So your dad’s the one who doesn’t drink right? No that’s my mom. My dad is the one who has convinced himself he’s intolerant to basically everything except for hippy shit from Whole Foods. So your typical all-american leave It to Beaver types. Got it. I don’t want to make it sound like they’re terrible people. They’re not. They’re just complicated and they’re gonna love you you’re not their fault. Here she comes. I think I’m ready Hi Mom. You look great. Thank you you too. Ah Ben, give us a hug. Nice to finally meet you nice to meet you as well yeah come on let’s go inside. What you gotta do is hit the right of the center of the cue ball. so it goes… I don’t care if it’s the holidays. I have to be good. I’ve been doing really well I’ve lost three pounds. Wow good for you. There’s coffee in the pot oh thank god Ben do you want some coffee? Ah. Something like that. You know something about being in the car for more than an hour completely drains me. Ah you don’t need that. Use the skim. I’m so glad that Ben could make it. Yeah he’s amazing. He’s been so supportive through everything and he’s just such a great listener. Hmmm. Did I tell you that I’ve given up starches I think that’s how the three pounds disappeared. You should try it. Well Carol at the office she swears by it and if anybody should know it should be Carol she has actually tried just about every single diet… Honey. So you did use the red pan for the chicken right Lexi? Yes Dad. I did live here at one point. Alright good. You should try some of this kimchi from the farmers market Ben. Might help detox some of those pesticides you’re ingesting. Doesn’t your body detox naturally? You know oh you’re kidding right? uh American food is so full of unclean toxins especially the meat. Oh my god if you say pink slime once during dinner we’re leaving. So Ben. Um what do you do again? Oh I work in marketing. We do accounts with auto manufacturers mostly trucks pretty standard stuff. Yeah uh, it’s really not that difficult most of our clients are very loyal lifetime clients so we don’t even have to advertise that much but uh don’t tell the guy who writes my paychecks. Yeah Ben really likes it a lot there. He’s friends with everyone at the office and we even joined a softball league. We call ourselves the Dodgers. Those trucks. They’re ruining our rainforests you know. Those big corporations. Just gonna drive this country straight to hell. That and obesity. Joe do you think we could calm down on the activism just for one night? I think that’s great Ben would you like some more potatoes? Oh sure, thank you. Thank you for being so nice to my parents. I know they’re a lot to handle It’s fine really. I mean everyone’s family has their quirks right? That must have been so stressful for you being around that weird energy. You know, I never even brought a boyfriend home for dinner I never did I always avoided it because what do you say to a 17 year old boy like oh hey my dad just pours a gallon of hot sauce on his food because he doesn’t want to eat it. It’s totally normal. It’s totally fine. It’s okay, really. I just wish it wasn’t such a thing though it’s just dinner everyone eats it every day they don’t think twice I just don’t even know what that’s like it’s always such a event around here. Did you ever talk to your mom about your recovery program? Yeah. I brought it up and she didn’t even react. She just changed the subject and started talking about a diet she’s trying. I don’t think she realizes how fucked up that is. I feel sorry for her and my dad being so judgy about what everyone eats. Yeah he definitely gave me a look when I went for seconds but uh I mean I’d feel shitty too if I just ate hot sauce soup. Well I feel bad for him too. You think it’s hard for girls. Hey. You know you’re a badass right? Hey mom I’m going to bed. Okay sweetheart. I love you. I love you too. Can’t go to bed till you’re finished Lexi.